(A fonetic fansy, dedicated to Androo Karnegee, the millionaire spelling reformer.)
The baker-man was kneading dough
And whistling softly, sweet and lough.
Yet ever and anon he’d cough
As though his head were coming ough!
“My world!” said he, “but this is rough:
This flour is simply awful stough!”
He punched and thumped it through and through,
As all good bakers always dough!
“I’d sooner drive,” said he, “a plough
Than be a baker, anyhough!”
Thus spake the baker kneading dough;
But don’t let on I told you sough!
Originally published in The Bulletin, 1906
Source: 60 Classic Australian Poems edited by Christopher Cheng, Random House 2009
“You talk of snakes,” said Jack the Rat,
“But blow me, one hot summer,
I seen a thing that knocked me flat –
Fourteen foot long or more than that,
It was a reg’lar hummer!
Lay right along a sort of bog,
Just like a log!
“The ugly thing was lyin’ there
And not a sign o’ movin’,
Give any man a nasty scare;
Seen nothin’ like it anywhere
Since I first started drovin’.
And yet it didn’t scare my dog.
Looked like a log!
“I had to cross that bog, yer see,
And bluey I was humpin’;
But wonderin’ what that thing could be
A-lyin’ there in front o’ me
I didn’t feel like jumpin’.
Yet, though I shivered like a frog,
It seemed a log!
“I takes a leap and lands right on
The back of that there whopper!”
He stopped. We waited. Then Big Mac
Remarked: “Well, then, what happened, Jack?”
“Not much,” said Jack, and drained his grog.
“It was a log!”
Bulletin, 21 January 1899